Last Night at the Improv

Kieran and I, as well as a variety of others, journeyed down to the ComedySportz Dome last night to see Andy Busam in his (real) Improv debut. The following conversations were a result:

Kieran [looking around bitterly at the smiling people everywhere]: One of the things that happens when you go to law school is you become accustomed to bitter people. You forget that bitterness isn't the status quo and that people can be happy, so it becomes quite shocking when you look around and see happy people smiling. It makes me think they're just not trying hard enough.

Emeric [glancing around for a moment, and then in a bubbly tone]: Mentos?

Kieran [suddenly excited]: Oohhh!


A short while later, the following occurred. It should be noted that both Kieran and I speak German, though Kieran speaks it better than I do, and I have bad hearing. Really bad hearing.

Kieran [auf Deutsch]: Die Leutue vor um sprechen um Rechstanwaltenschule.

Emeric: Do I want a phone to send you to Anbar province?

Kieran: I was speaking in German.

Emeric: Ohhhh, that makes only slightly more sense.

The Once In A Million Shot ...

I've posted conversations bashing Amanda in these hallowed pages before, and it's with good reason. They're really funny. Amanda keeps opening herself up. But once in a long while, Amanda manages to take a great shot. Here is that story.

Our conversation was focused around plans for the Autumn; the both of us enjoying the season and discussing what is necessary to make the season worthwhile. We pick up as I add an additional note:

Emeric: Oh, and I need to find a girl. That's back on the list.

Amanda: It was off the list?

Emeric: Yeah, it got removed for a while during the spring. And then again in July, during the "Chocolate Cake" crusade.

Amanda: Cake?

Emeric: This was really good chocolate cake.

Amanda [dryly]: It would have to be.

Hey Sauna, Ho Sauna, Sauna Sauna Ho ...

Those of you who know the Dwyers know that, aside from our ponderous intellects, our pyromanaical tendencies, and our zany antics, we love a good Sauna. And so, as a cold and rainy weekend set about St. Paul, we migrated twice to the Sauna. The following two conversations resulted:

Emerson (Kieran's brother): I'm working up a good sweat. Although, really, I only have two settings: not sweating, or sweating. It's a plateau.

Kieran: Same for me, only I have one setting: sweating.

Emeric: It's because we come from the North, where the cold wind blows.

Kieran: That'd make sense, except we both have broken pretty good sweats in sub-zero weather.

Emeric: Right! And then the sweat freezes to us and gives us camoflage in the snow!

Then a few days later, Michael B had returned from a wedding, and this conversation occurred:

Mike: Yeah, you guys should have seen the wedding. Eye candy anywhere.

Kieran: Well, any luck with any of them?

Mike: No, but not for lack of trying. - - And by that, I mean they wouldn't make out with me, not that I tried to make out and couldn't.

Emeric: Yeah, it's not like you missed.

I'm Awake, I'm Awake ...

We haven't disappeared off the face of the planet. I've just been on vacation, Kieran's been working, and we've lost the internet connection in our apartment. So it's been harder to update.

We've been slowly rearranging the apartment around the monolithic television that has come to dominate our living room. In the course os such rearranging, we have reworked the location of the multiple houseplants we keep. It should be noted that the Dwyer Men, unlike the Dwyer Women, do not really have a green thumb. We try, but usually it's unsuccessful. And so though Kieran and I have been burdened with plants from our mothers, it's a struggle to keep them going. As this conversation indicates:

Kieran: I think it would work well if you put the Bamboo over there.

Emeric: If we put the Bamboo over there, it will die.

Keiran: [Bewildered] Really?

Emeric: If we put the Bamboo anywhere, it's going to die.

Seriously, the Bamboo is on it's final legs. Or last straw. Or whatever metaphor works for dying plants. Any thoughts on how to save it?

Keith's Kettle

Emeric and I were driving back from a quick trip to Cold Spring. Along the way we past a billboard for Keith's Kettle, some sort of family restaurant, with a big picture of a large man and big kettle. The follow conversation ensued. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but we laughed anyway.

Emeric: Keith sure looks like he enjoys being on his billboard.
Kieran: And eating out of his kettle.
Emeric: A little too much it seems.
Kieran: In fact that's why I don't eat there, he hogs the kettle to himself.
Emeric: (in dialog fashion) "Hey Keith, can I have some of the food from the Kettle?" (then in a loud deep nasal voice) "ghhhnnaaa." (back to normal voice) "okay Keith, I'll back away from the kettle"

Are we bad people for mocking random people we come across? I can't seem to find a reason why we wouldn't be.