Don't Turn Your Back On These Guys

And now: Vignettes!

While engaged in grocery shopping (which regular readers know is a time-consuming and dangerous endeavor for the Conspiracy):

Emeric: We need more peanut butter.

Kieran: Is this the kind that gives you Salmonella?

Emeric: They have Salmonella in peanut butter now?

Kieran: Eh, it's worth the risk. Skippy is delicious.

And then, a few aisles later:

Emeric: Hey, we should get some cereal. But you don't like Life (tm).

Kieran: I love life! I say that all the time.

Emeric: Whenever I ask you, you say you hate Life (tm) cereal.

Kieran: Oh. I do hate Life (tm) cereal. You need to be clearer.

A few days later, enjoying a goofy dinner and discussing workout techniques:

Kieran: Whenever I want a good upper-body workout, I go swimming.

Emeric: I would do that, but I look awkward swimming laps. Kids would ask "Mommy, who is that man slowly drowning while drifting left in the pool?"